Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Motrin, a Miracle Worker

I was going to take a picture of my toe and put it up here...But it was just too gross. Even for me. And it's my toe. Also, I'm not a huge fan of my feet, so having a photo shoot and posting them on the internet didn't seem all that exciting.

But, as it is, my toe is killing me. It throbs, making me aware of my jagged little toenail. I wrapped it in some surgical tape and gauze this morning, and decided that I'd go ahead and wear heels anyway...Until Billy forbade me from leaving the house with open-toed shoes on, lest I smack my big and clumsy toe into something else, which would be sure to put me in more pain than I already am.

So I smushed my wrapped toe into the flat, pink shoes I bought for Belize and headed to work. Once there, I realized that my bandage was too thick, and re-wrapped my toe no less than four times.

But, between the constant wrapping and the squishing of said toe into said shoe, my foot began to throb. I tried elevating it, I tried ice, and nothing alleviated the pain. Until, finally, it occurred to me: Motrin! The drug that relieves me of my monthly period pain! Why hadn't I thought of this sooner!

And you know what? It worked. My toe felt positively delightful. I mean, sure, my foot is still swollen and achy, and it's sort of hard to bend my toes, but at least it felt better.

I'm fairly certain it's not broken, as it's only bruised around the garish toenail, and it's possible to bend my toe with the aid of my hand. It doesn't hurt when I do it, it's just that the puffy skin won't allow me to bend it by sheer force. So I think that's a good sign.

My Motrin started to wear off about an hour ago, but I've started drinking wine, so I feel much better. I think I'll survive this after all.


God's gift to women (with really low standards) said...

Jagged Little Toenail was some of Alanis Morissette's best work.

Liz said...

No heels?!?!?! It isn't your day is it? :D

Cheetarah1980 said...

Self medication is one of the most beautiful things in this world.

Popeye said...

I just like the idea that your toe felt "delightful." Delightful toes. Hee hee.