Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Last Night

Time I got home from work: Five O'Clock

Loads of laundry done: One half (which means the whites were washed, but not necessarily dried.)

Hefty bags used to hold all of the garbage I emptied from my car in preparation for Billy taking it today: One whole bag

Number of winter coats removed from the backseat of my car: Three

Number of empty cigarette packs found on the floor of my car: I don't know...maybe a million

Number of meetings I have to listen to on tape, and subsequently type the minutes of, for my very-much-neglected second job as secretary for a local township: Ten

Average length of a meeting: Forty-five minutes

Average number of pages I have to type to transcribe each meeting: Two

Date they should have been done: Oh, AUGUST. Of 2005. But that's flexible.

Last possible date all ten meeting minutes must be delivered to my second employer: Thursday, February 9, 2006

Number of meeting minutes I actually finished last night: Seven

Hour I always wait until to finish any project: Eleventh

Time Billy got home from work: 9:30

Layers of clothing Billy donned to go outside and check out my car: At least three

Pieces of sushi I ate while Billy tinkered with Gwen the 4Runner: Eight

Billy's diagnosis for Gwen's faulty starting: It's not the starter, it's a sensor on the clutch.

Could he fix it, though?: Yes

Items he used to fix my bum clutch: A flashlight, electrical tape, a discarded button from a coat

Number of tries it took to start the car following his solution: Only one. Just like new.

Amount I'll have to spend to fix my car now, thanks to Billy: $0.00

How I plan to repay Billy for fixing my car, saving me both money and a trip to the mechanic: [Censored], multiple times. (C'mon, I can't put the details in here...My parents may read it.)

Times I thought "I'll be lucky enough to meet a man who is smart, funny, incredibly sexy and good looking, who will love me just as much as I love him, and who will love and care enough about me to take care of me in all the right ways, without being overbearing or possessive; A man I trust and miss all the time, who I can't wait to see at the end of the day; A man who will make me laugh and make me delirious with happiness, who lets me be exactly who I am, and whom I will love because of exactly who he is; A man who will make me feel safe and cared for and loved, who I will love in ways I never even thought possible before.": Never

5 comments:

Kristi said...

Holy Carp girl!
Clean out your car more often and STOP SMOKING!!!
your lungs aare gonna shrivel up into hard little prunes inside your body.
You are far to beautiful and talented for that!

i long for the days when i had a man to take care of me so i could be the helpless girl. Watchiong him be my knight and admiting him for it. Able to pay back the way a woman can and a man appreciates.
I envy you

Kristi said...

okay it was "watching" and "admiring"
Just in case my incryption and bad typing lost you

portuguesa nova said...

You forgot to add "and will be able to fix my car." to that list, for God's sake!! All of those qualities + car-fixing skills NEVER go together!! Never!!!

Back before I married the most anal retentive man alive who rearranges my sock drawer for me daily, my car was so messy that there was knee-high garbage, 80% of my wardrobe, and the same millions of cigarette packs in all but the driver's side. I remember being very scared every time I threw a cigarette out the window that it would land in the backseat and I would surely die in minutes.

Laurie said...

I love letting my man be the man. I don't feel helpless, but I do feel like a lady. It's a priceless feeling. And, Kristi, you're right; It's nice to find yet another thing to admire about a man. :)

PN, I cannot believe you said that - the part about flicking cigarettes out of the window and worrying that it came back into the car. Because I do the same effing thing. I make sure I watch the burning butt in the side view mirror, to be sure it got out of the car. And if I lose sight of it for a SECOND, I starting thinking "Do I smell smoke?" and looking in the backseat for a small brush fire. I usually spend the next three to five minutes terrifed of the certain fiery death that is sure to come with an ill-executed cigarette toss. And then something good comes on the radio and I forget about it.

But, anyway, my point was...I thought I was the only one who did that. I now feel closer to you than ever. :)

DesignGuy said...

Flicking cigarette butts out your car window! I'm ashamed for both of you. Simply one of the most vile, immature, selfish, irresponsible and lazy behaviors known to civilized man.

http://www.cigarettelitter.org/

And aside from all the other negatives attributed to the habit, you wonder why society looks down on smoking.

Sermon over. Carry on.