Friday, December 02, 2005


It's my second day at the new job...I work in an office with two other people. Both of them left.

That leaves just me. In a new office that I know nothing about.

A customer just came in, full of questions, and I had nothing to offer her. No information, no knowledge, no help. Just a broken-record response of "I'm not sure," and "I can have someone call you when they return." I heard her moving about the space in the office, asking barely audible questions and answering them herself. "I wonder if this comes in another color...I don't know," I heard her mock. I wanted to sink into the wall.

Other than the fact that I am completely useless as of right now, things are going well. I think I'll really enjoy it, once I get around to getting taught how things work. The field is entirely new to me, as is the job I'll be doing...So I have to get over the idea I had that I could just come right in and pick it up. I have to remind myself that I'll actually have to learn this. I'm trying not to let it frustrate me that I'm a completely clean slate. I'm trying to keep my mind open. I hate not knowing what's going on, I hate that I don't know anything here. I hate that I have to be taught. It seems overwhelming and intimidating one minute, then ridiculously simple the next. I find myself thinking "I'm never going to understand any of this," then "God, this is going to be so freakin' simple. Why can't I just get it?" I have to keep reminding myself that it's new, that I knew nothing about banking seven years ago when I walked in on my first day. That the idea of coming here in the first place was to learn something new for the purpose of making more money.

But it's hard to learn anything new when the only two other people that work with you are gone, won't be back for three hours. I want to know everything NOW. Because that's how I am. Hopelessly impatient.

But don't let my frustrations fool you. I've made the right choice. I just have to remember it's going to take a little while before I become a pro. The intention was never for me to walk in here automatically aware of all that goes on.

But as for right now, I have to end this post and try to figure out Quickbooks on my own.

1 comment:

NJ said...

Like you said, you've only been there for two days, cut yourself some slack. :-) Good to hear you're happy there anyway though.