The clouds have parted for real. The sun is out and the only snow falling is the snow being blown off of the trees by the crazy wind outside. Snow must've buried the satellite dish outside, because, just as I was getting into A Wedding Story on TLC, the screen froze. I took it as a sign that it was time to get my ass out of bed and into work. So I showered and put on my makeup begrudgingly, searching the sky hopefully for another round of snow and an excuse to crawl back beneath the covers. Before I dressed, though, I called my boss, the good employee that I am, to ask him if he wanted me to head in.
"Nah," he said. "There's no point in you coming here. It's dead. Enjoy your day off."
The last thing in the world I want to do right now is drive, so I put on one of Billy's sweaters and made myself comfortable here at the computer. I clicked on the Musicmatch Jukebox player on the computer and started hopping around on some of my favorite blogs.
The song selection is an mesh of choices made by both Billy and myself. Over three days, we've added songs here and there to the playlist, and every night I come home, sit at the computer and listen to the same songs. But they're fabulous.
This is my soundtrack:
Hopeless, by Train
Maria (Shut up and kiss me), by Willie Nelson
When You Became King, by Alana Davis
Brick, by Ben Folds Five
Island, by The Ben Taylor Band
Drops of Jupiter, by Train
Maybe, by Toni Braxton
Sexual Healing, by Ben Harper
Brighter than Sunshine, by Aqualung
A Chance with You, by Alana Davis
Whipping Boy, by Train
Kissing a Fool, by George Michael
32 Flavors, by Alana Davis
The Beauty of Who You Are, by Marc Broussard
I Don't Care, by Alana Davis
Hold Me Now, by the Thompson Twins
Army, by Ben Folds Five
Let's Get it On, by Marvin Gaye
King of Sorrow, by Sade
Secret, by Maroon 5
Freedom 90, by George Michael
Folsom Prison Blues, by Johnny Cash
Paper Thin Walls, by Modest Mouse
Into the Mystic, by Van Morrison
Bend and Break, by Keane
No Ordinary Love, by Sade
I can think of no better way to spend my day than to sit here listening and singing along. Each of the songs makes me think of someone or something in particular. Billy's in every line of When You Became King, The Beauty of Who You Are and Brighter than Sunshine. Ghosts of relationships past are hiding in the harmonies of Kissing a Fool, Hopeless and King of Sorrow. I see myself in 32 Flavors, Whipping Boy and I Don't Care. Snow and coffee and the promise of a day spent alone has made me nostalgic, reminiscent, reflective.
The volume is turned up to full blast, and I'm singing along, letting the songs take me to where I was way back when and up the long road to where, and who, I am now.