Sunday, May 08, 2005

Enough is Enough

This has gone entirely too far.

I have removed the comments from Mr. Anonymous in an effort to get the mudslinging to stop. Veiled threats and name-calling were never intended to be a part of this blog. This, my humble little corner of the internet, was intended as a space to write about my feelings, my thoughts, my life. I'm not quite sure what else it is that I should write about on a blog about me. Funny that now I'm put a position where I'm supposed to defend myself for that.

Because I have taken the time to write about myself, I have been accused of being self-absorbed. Because I have written stories about people I have come across, I have been deemed judgmental. Because I write here at all, I have been called insecure. I have chosen, up to this point, to refrain from responding to any of these insults because it just didn't seem necessary. This blog is public. Anyone who wishes to do so may read it. And there are bound to be people who come to cultivate distaste for me - All of the comments left for me cannot be good. So for that reason, I chose to not only leave the negative comments about me up for future visitors to view, but to not add fuel to the fire by arguing with every point made. I know exactly who I am. And those who love me know me, too. Those who have said nasty things about me do not.

Did I actually discount a man for having a lisp? No. Did I discount a man just because he allowed his roommate's bed to be defiled by a friend of his? No. Did I discount a man because he brought me a carnation? No. Did I discount a man because he asked me if I was kinky like a pubic hair? Yes. But there were a myriad of other reasons that I chose not to pursue a relationship with these men. Please remember that what you see here is only a minute portion of the events as they actually occurred. I don't think anyone wants to read through hundreds of pages in which I recount, in excruciating detail, each and every second of a date or conversation. If I chose not to spend time with these men, there was a valid reason that stretched far beyond speech impediments, juvenile humor and poor floral selection. That being said, I shouldn't have to make excuses for the fact that I want certain things out of a partner. You may call that judgmental. To each his own.

I am, however, confused as to why anyone who so vehemently despises the me that comes across in my posts would continue to spend his or her time reading it. And then spend more time writing hateful things. It's okay to disagree with me. It's fine if you don't like who you think I am. But why not just move on? There is always an option to click "Next Blog." There are people that I've come to know through this blog, who one day stumbled across it and actually liked what they read. I can understand why they would return. But to stumble across me, hate me, then peruse the archives, just to find more ammunition against me, seems a little cruel.

And even though I would never waste my time reading a blog I despised, I can at least see how someone would feel they are entitled to offer me advice - unwarranted, unqualified and unwanted advice, but advice nonetheless. But to call someone who stuck up for me a "fatty?" To threaten and insinuate violence? And to do it anonymously, besides? This is all just unnecessary.

I have never claimed to be perfect. I have never argued with the fact that I have insecurities. I don't recall trying to be profound. But what you get here is only a small piece of who I am. And I will continue to write about whatever crosses my mind. Believe what you will about me. If you do not like it, I invite you to either start your own blog to write about something you like...Or to simply go elsewhere.