Friday, June 09, 2006

Boys, This is Where You Hit the Back Button

So, you know back, a few weeks ago, when I was talking about foreshadowing? Oh, how right I was.

This is semi-unnecessary, and probably a little gross, but I feel the need to share it. Last week, my coworker (the one who's getting - or, actually, just got married) came up to my desk. "So guess what happened to me today," she said, four days before her June 3rd wedding.

"What?" I asked, closing out the internet in what I hoped was a clandestine maneuver.

"I got my period today."

I sucked in air through my teeth, my face contorted in sympathetic pain. "Ew. That sucks. I thought you were on the pill...That's strange that you would get it early."

"I am. That's what I don't get. It's gotta be stress or something."

"Yeah. Probably. That's just so weird. I mean, I'm on the pill, and I always start mine when I'm supposed to: Every fourth Tuesday. Like clockwork."

"I just hate it."

"Well," I offered, "at least it's better to get it overwith now. Instead of on your honeymoon."

"Yeah. I guess. That ever happened to you?"

"No."

Ah-ha. That's where I fucked it all up. Because I said no. Apparently, this taunted the foreshadowing Gods. Because, I haven't been under an undue amount stress, nor am I particularly upset about anything. Those are the only reasons there's ever been any fluctuation in my cycle. And yet, a good week before my regularly scheduled cycle, my body decided to cramp up and start, well, cycling. What did I do to deserve this? I'm just hoping it doesn't mean I'm going to have it for two straight weeks.

Anyway, my point is this: I wasn't kidding about the foreshadowing; I was fucking right.

4 comments:

Sunney said...

Ahh, you have angered the ever-menacing Goddess Menustra, evil bleeding bitch that she is. There is only one way to slay the evil Goddess (with the sword of menopause), but you can bind her for a while. After you finish your 'sacrifice', start your next pack of pills early instead of taking the placebo pills. It won't hurt, and a lot of doctors are saying you can just skip the placebo pills and the evil monthly transfusion altogether. Good luck. Have some chocolate and some salt & vinegar chips on me.

Doug said...

While I can not comment on the womans monthly friend, I can talk about foreshadowing. Last night the preschool had a graduation thing for the kids (complete with caps and gowns) and all the kids looked cute. However, going through my head was this image of my oldest graduating...9 years from now. It was kind of like watching a horror movie (knowing you will lose the kids to the world in such a short span of time).

anno said...

My first thought was, oh hell, it only gets worse. Should I burden you with that knowledge?

Then Doug's comment caught me. We just attended our daughter's middle school honor's assembly, and watching these 5th-8th graders was breathtaking--the 5th graders still children, the 8th graders almost adults. I felt hollowed out afterwards.

God's gift to women (with really low standards) said...

What's a period?