Thursday, August 24, 2006

Aaaaand Moving On.....

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last, now removed, post. I appreciated every word of it.

It's just that, having it there, staring at me every time I opened up my page did nothing to make me feel better. Usually writing something here is my release. In this case, reading my own words made me more anxious. And, of all the things I do need right now, more anxiety is not one of them.

So I removed it, hoping to make like an ostrich and bury my head in the sand. I want to just ignore it and live in blissful ignorance.

Because I have bigger things on my plate than something that may or may not happen years from now. Shoot, something could happen between now and then that would all but eliminate the question anyway. I don't know. None of us do. I should enjoy the good that I have now, rather than constantly focusing on an uncertain fifteen years down the road.

I went to my pre-admission testing today, where they drew vial after vial of blood, sat me down, and explained all of the restrictions I have to abide by for the day before surgery. They told me someone will have to drive me home, as I'll be completely unconscious for the procedure. And, of course, that person will be Billy, who, when I originally told him the date of my surgery and asked if he could be there, replied that of course he would be there, and wouldn't miss it for anything. He made it sound like it was something fun and exciting that he'd be attending, and although that's certainly not the case, I know what he meant: I need him, and he'll be there.

Hopefully, after this next round of surgery (which I kind of feel guilty even referring to as "surgery," as there will be no external incisions on my person) everything with me and my lady parts should be back to normal. THEN I can go back to worrying myself sick over things that I have no control over, no matter how much I analyze, focus, or dissect. Then I'll know I'm back to normal.


Serra said...

I've had the procedure you're having--and I wish to Dog they'd put me under. I freaked so bad being awake for it that it wasn't funny. I remember being pissed as hell that they didn't even sedate me for that shit.

Hugs and prayers and chickens with open veins, hon.

Kat said...

Everything will be ok, you'll see!

You hit the nail on the head,..I also over analyze, worry about, focus on and use up way to much energy on things I cannot control. Is there a pill of some sort we can take to make this go away? ;-)


Kristi said...

One day at a time.
One thing at a time.

your plate is full, no need to put more on it.
Everything happens for a reason. Like you said get thru this and then worry about the next thing. If you need to worry at all.
Your strength and thoughts are needed on more important things right now.

LOL! ......chickens with open veins...I'm sure it must be an inside joke. It made me laugh!!

Embrace that man of yours and use the strenght and support he's offering.
Stay Strong

Popeye said...

I've been crazy busy so haven't read recently but I hope thing work out just fine for you. The good news in all this is that you know you have something you should look out for and, because of that, you've got a really good chance of catching anything weird early and being able to take care of it.

Jasika said...

Oh'll be just fine.

And I completely understand with the added stress. First things first ya know?

You're strong and beautiful...

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with your post...but do you realize you've had over 31 thousand viewers? That is a good size city of followers....

tiff said...

I never saw the original post, but I know that overanalyzing is only human, (or female at least) no matter the situation.

Keep your head up, we're rooting for you!